Going Radical Fourth month!

We started this year and named it "the year of going radical" this was the year we were going to reign in our finances and clean up our bad investment debt and student loan debt (thanks Dave Ramsey). April was the month I wanted our student loans to be paid off. We crunched the numbers and this was a far fetched, but if going truly radical, a goal we could achieve. As unexpected things would come up I would worry/complain about not reaching our goal month. I literally would visualize me in a dark tunnel and running to the small light in the distance the closer I would get to the light the harder I would run, leaving the tunnel meant I was debt free. I could smell the fresh air, see the blue skies and look at the beautiful flowers outside the tunnel, I would be free!! Free to spend our hard earned money, free to focus on other financial pursuits.

Well we paid it off, early in the month to boot! I have a our third "You are paid in full" notice hanging on the wall in our bedroom. I wept when Benjamin sent me the email notice that said our balance was zero. I played my motivational song, the song I think about as I leave my tunnel.

This euphoria lasted about 24 hours. I felt on top of the world, like we had run our race and that it was awesome! Sadly after my 24 hour high was up I came out of my tunnel only to see that in order to get to the top of the mountain I had to enter another tunnel! This tunnel (the 2nd mortgage that had the brunt of all the failed homestead plans) was huge, almost 4 X what we had just paid off. I felt so discouraged! How could we sustain this kind of momentum? When looking at the money we had already used I couldn't help but look around and see all the things I would rather spend that money on. My duct tape couch, named that because it has been "repaired" with duct tape. My dinning table that is on stilts because the thrift store chairs we bought for it were too tall, my kids mattresses that are on the floor because I have not gotten them a proper bed frame... all of these "wants" just kept creeping in to my happy accomplishment. Had we done the right thing? Should we have used our money in other more tangible ways? Or should we have put the  money towards the larger mountain? My mother has always said that self doubt is one of Satan's largest tools. I think ingratitude is another one. How could we accomplish so much and I feel so unsatisfied? I was talking to Benjamin about it this morning of why I wasn't more happy with accomplishing this goal,  he quoted to me a line from The Family: A Proclamation "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation) It doesn't say happiness is most likely to be achieved when paying off debt, or running a wonderful race, it comes when our priorities are in line with what Heavenly Fathers. He wants us to become a follower of his son Jesus Christ, where charity and love trump all goals.

When my twin and I ran our first and only marathon there was a part in the race in the very beginning where we ran through a tunnel, it felt really long because it was dark and all uphill. When we came out of that tunnel there was 24 miles of race still to run! Mostly hills, beautiful desert landscape and nothing but runners solitude to sustain you. Thinking on this financial race that we have signed up for I need to remember the path is long, the path is difficult, but it is my job to not focus on the end so much, but try to enjoy being out of the tunnel, breathing and seeing the the charity and love that others offer as well as what I can offer along the way. 

Lessons learned in April: 

1."Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

Parkin's seven year old scavenger hunt! May 3rd!

Our loving little boy turned seven yesterday!  Benjamin and I had so much fun putting this scavenger hunt family party together. We started with giving him some sunglasses "that weren't no dollar store pair" and asked him to go to the place that sold cheap items there. We went to the dollar store where all the kids picked up a pair of flip flops and Parkin got his next clue. That clue took us to the Clark's house where his clue was waiting for him by their bee hive in their backyard. The bees also gave Parkin peanut M&M's thoughtful bees!  We then were lead to McCormick park for our next clue. We played at the park for a bit and were on our way to Collin's house for our next clue. We passed by Ft. Lowell park and had to swing in to show Benjamin the neat oasis the kids and I had found. They had tadpoles there the size of small cuties! After a little hike around that park we were back on the road to the Holman's house. Our next clue lead us to McDonald's for a happy meal lunch. The clue at Mc'd's told us to go to Nana and Papa's pool. We swam and had a blast. Nana made delicious cupcakes and Parkin got some awesome presents including a Pokemon movie which we watched later. Another clue took us to Grandma Bab's and Granpa Ronnie's place for a present, legos!  Lastly we went home for dinner and a movie and to build legos. Geezz that was a lot of driving and a lot of fun! At each stop he got a gift mostly themed around Pokemon stuff. He was very grateful and I think he had a great time, the whole family really loved the adventure.

Parkin we love you! You light up a room just by breathing! You are super smart, one of the classes you have taken this year is Mandarin. You speak it really well and have learned to write it as well. I love it when randomly you can see Mandarin characters at the grocery store or dollar store and know the meaning of it. You like to test military families and returned missionaries who have learned Mandarin to see if they know what you know :) You are crazy loyal and will not allow others to be picked on. You stand up for friends, family and anyone you feel is being picked on. You have courage and compassion a beautiful combination! Son I love you and thank my lucky stars the I get to be your Mom!

Bella become a teenager! March 8th!

How did this event not get posted?! Bella has had the privilege of going to several Bar and Bat Mitzvah this year. They are large, fun, expensive and spiritual coming of age parties for Jewish teenagers. I remember as a teenager wanting to go to one of these parties, Bella that lucky/popular girl has gone to 3! Well in honor of us going radical her party would hopefully be one of these attributes, fun! Even as I am typing this my super positive girl said mom it was fun, gotta love her. It started out with Bella going out with Benjamin with donuts with Dad, instead of donuts for breakfast she chose getting a cheeseburger. The ladies went shopping we gave her some money and she used some of her own. But her biggest gift was Bella getting her own room. Dieter moved out and Bella moved in, I think on the same day! We had grand parents over for her favorite dinner cheeseburgers and cheesy noodles. Cheeseburgers all day makes Bella a happy girl. Bella we love you we think you are amazing! You are smart right now in school you are taking English, Spanish, Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Algebra II, History, Logic, and PE (my favorite). You are athletic. You are friendly. You are perceptive. You are kind. This last one is a gift that usually takes most people time to develop but even from a young age when kids are naturally egocentric you were not, you have always reached out and you continue to do so. What a great Christ like attribute. Thanks for teaching me everyday, laughing with me everyday being my daughter and friend, I love you Bella! Next year we will have a Mormanitzva, its where Mormons celebrate the coming of age of being allowed to go to church dances! It will be big (multiple stakes can go). It will be fun (sober fun the best kind). It will not be expensive(a ward will provide the refreshments and decorations and venue/ the church building)! It will be a coming of age spiritual party (since you will move into the Mia maid program at church). This party will be epic almost as epic as getting your own room! Love you Bella!