10. Don’t look down! Whatever happens don’t look down.
9. If you find that you are compelled to look down, open the door and walk backwards, this will remind you under no circumstances to look down.
8. If you know it will be a quick visit, take several deep breaths before entering and then hold the last breath and make a race out of it. You will be a winner if you can make it without breathing.
7. If you know it will not be a quick visit, it is socially acceptable to tie a handkerchief to your face before entering. You will be glad you took the special effort.
6. Treat the people that dump crap for a living like heroes! They are doing what most wouldn’t ever dare to do. Man I love those guys, their visit is the most anticipated service call ever.
5. The closer the John not always the better, sometimes a healthy distance can be worth the walk especially if the Heroes aren’t coming for a few more days.
4. A cleaned out port-a-potty isn’t always ideal. When it is cleaned out they add more liquid, when there is more liquid it splashes better……enough said….too much said.
3. Because of this splashing effect, it is sometimes ideal to squat. You may say that you always squat over a port-a -potty toilet, but when you are using a port-a-potty as your sole source of toilet use that practice is soon forgotten, unless it has just been cleaned out. Then squatting is a must!
2. Teaching the kids to keep the lid down is no less hard out in the wild, but the consequences are a whole lot more! Keep the lid down.
1. Don’t look down! Whatever happens don’t look down!
